220 Funny and Clean School Year-Long KIDS JOKES of the Day!

Discover 220 Year-Long KIDS JOKES organized by month and season to get you through the school year. These hilarious and “clean” kid jokes are guaranteed to fill your day-to-day school gatherings with laughter, learning, and good old fashioned fun.

Jokes can be used by teachers for morning meetings and activities in your classroom, to build sight word vocabulary and fluency, or as a “send-off with a smile” activity each and every day.

220 Funny and Clean Year-Long KIDS JOKES

From belly laughs in the spring to winter chuckles on a snowy day, this collection of Year-Long KIDS JOKES covers it all. Not only will it put smiles on your kids’ faces, but it’ll also boost their mood and build strong classroom connections.

September Jokes

Q: What did the pen say to the pencil? A: What’s your point?
Q: Why did the student take a ladder to school? A: Because he was going to HIGH school!
Q: What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm in your apple!
Q: What is the first thing sea otters learn in school? A: Their A-B-SEAS!
Q: Where do young trees go to learn? A: ElemenTREE School!
Q: Why did the student eat his homework? A: The teacher said it was a PIECE OF CAKE!
Q: What is big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten mom’s day? A: The SCHOOL BUS!
Q: What is a robot’s favorite after school snack? A: Computer Chips!
Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because it had too many PROBLEMS!
Q: What is a cheerleader’s favorite cereal? A: CHEERIOS!
Q: Why did the baby cows stop playing football? A: Because it was CALF TIME!
Q: Why did the librarian slip and fall? A: Because she was hanging out in the NON-FRICTION section!
Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses in the classroom? A: Because her students were so BRIGHT!
Q: Why do soccer players do so well in school? A: Because they are always using their heads!
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in SCHOOLS!
Q: Why did the kids cross the playground? A: To get to the other SLIDE!
Q: How do bees get to school? A: On the school BUZZ!
Q: Why did the M&M go to school? A: Because he really wanted to be a SMARTIE!
Q: What is a tree’s favorite month? A: Sept-TIMBER!
Q: What kind of an apple isn’t an apple? A: A PINE-APPLE

October Jokes

Q: What kind of pants do ghosts wear? A: BOO – Jeans!
Q: Why don’t mummies take time off? A: Because they are afraid to unwind!
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert? A: I SCREAM!
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Halloween dance? A: Because he had no BODY to go with!
Q: What’s a mummy’s favorite kind of music? A: WRAP Music!
Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite kind of pie? A: BOO-Berry!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? A: FROSTBITE!
Q: What do goblins and ghosts drink? A: GHOUL-ade!
Q: Why did the pony get grounded? A: Because he wouldn’t stop HORSING AROUND!
Q: Why don’t sharks eat clowns? A: Because they taste FUNNY!
Q: What is a ninja’s favorite kind of shoes? A: SNEAKERS!
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? A: Because it didn’t have the GUTS!
Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day? A: Day SCARE!
Q: What did the pumpkin put on his Boo Boo? A: A Pumpkin PATCH!
Q: Who do monsters buy cookies from ? A: Ghoul Scouts
Q: Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? A: Because she had BAD BLOOD!
Q: What is a cat’s favorite color? A: PUUUUUUURple!!
Q: Where do books hide when they are scared? A: Under their COVERS!
Q: What is a spider’s favorite thing to do on the computer? A: Make WEB-sites!!
Q: What do witches put on their hair? A: SCARE-Spray!

November Jokes

Q: What did the turkey say to the computer? A: “GOOGLE, GOOGLE, GOOGLE”
Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank? A: To get his QUARTER BACK!
Q: What is a scarecrow’s favorite food? A: STRAWberries!
Q: Why didn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert? A: Because he was too STUFFED!
Q: Why did the cranberries turn red? A: Because they saw the turkey dressing!
Q: What do vampires call Thanksgiving? A: FANGS-Giving!
Q: What key has legs but can’t open doors? A: A Tur-KEY!
Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? A: The OUTSIDE!
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: Because it was the chicken’s day off!
Q: What is the best thing to put into pumpkin pie? A: Your Fork or Your Teeth!
Q: What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? A: SQUASH!
Q: Why do birds fly south in the fall? A: Because it’s too far to walk!
Q: What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving? A: VERY LUCKY!
Q: What has ears but can’t hear a thing? A: A CORNFIELD!
Q: Why did the scarecrow win a medal? A: Because he was OUTSTANDING in his field!
Q: Who helped the little pumpkins cross the road to school? A: The Crossing GOURD!
Q: What’s the key to having a great Thanksgiving dinner? A: The TurKEY!
Q: What type of vest is best for November? A: Har-VEST!
Q: Why do trees hate tests? A: Because they get STUMPED by the questions!
Q: What is the cutest season of the year? A: AWWWWWWW-tumn!

December Jokes

Q: What is the coldest month of the year? A: DecemBRRRRRRRR!
Q: What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A: A COOKIE SHEET!
Q: What do Santa’s elves learn in school? A: The ELF-a-bet!
Q: What do you call a mean reindeer? A: RUDE-olf!
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus? A: NORTH POLISH
Q: How do you know Santa Claus is good at karate? A: Because he has a BLACK BELT!
Q: What’s red and white & red and white & red and
white? A: Santa rolling down a hill!
Q: Why did the girl keep her trumpet in the snow? A: She liked to play COOL JAZZ!
Q: What do you get when you cross a pineapple and an
iPad? A: A Pineapple!
Q: How does a snowman lose weight? A: He waits for the weather to warm up!
Q: What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A: A HOLLY Davidson!
Q: What kind of photos do elves take? A: ELFies!
Q: What do snowmen like the most about school? A: SNOW and Tell!
Q: What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time? A: A sad candy cane!
Q: Why does everybody love Frosty the Snowman? A: Because he is so COOL!
Q: What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? A: You get TINSELitis!
Q: What do you call Santa when he stops moving? A: Santa PAUSE!
Q: What is Frosty’s favorite dessert? A: ICE Krispy Treats!
Q: What’s the weather report every Christmas Eve? A: There’s a 100% chance of REIN deer!
Q: What kind of bug hates Christmas? A: A HUMBUG!

January Jokes

Q: What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A: A MELTDOWN!
Q: What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day? A: Happy New CHEER!
Q: What do hockey players and magicians have in common? A: They both do HAT TRICKS!
Q: How do you decorate a snowman’s cake? A: With lots of ICING!
Q: Why can’t Elsa have a balloon? A: Because she’ll LET IT GO!
Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt? A: SNOW!
Q: What do you call a snowman’s kids? A: CHILL-dren!
Q: Why shouldn’t you tell jokes while ice skating? A: Because the ice might CRACK up!!
Q: What do snowmen eat for lunch? A: ICE-BERGERS!
Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A POUCH Potato!
Q: Why did the ninja have to go to the doctor? A: Because he had KUNG-FLU!
Q: Why did the bee go south for the winter? A: To visit an ANT in Florida!
Q: What do snowmen do on the weekends? A: CHILL Out!
Q: What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make? A: To TRAVEL more!
Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite drink? A: ICED Tea!
Q: How did the snow globe feel after listening to a scary
story? A: A bit SHAKEN up!
Q: What did the policeman say to the snowman when he
caught him stealing? A: FREEZE!
Q: What video game do they play in igloos? A: SNOW FORTNITE!
Q: What do you call a snowman’s dog? A: A SLUSH PUPPY!
Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite game? A: ICE SPY!

February Jokes

Q: What did one volcano say to the other volcano on Valentine’s Day? A: “I LAVA YOU!”
Q: What is a frog’s favorite month? A: FEBRUARY because it has a LEAP year!
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: “I’m STUCK on you!”
Q: What did the farmer give to his wife on Valentine’s Day? A: HOGS and Kisses!
Q: What room doesn’t have doors? A: A MushROOM!
Q: Why shouldn’t you tell jokes about pizza? A: Because they are just too CHEESY!
Q: What do you call George Washington’s false teeth? A: PRESIDENTURES!
Q: Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day? A: YES, February 14th!
Q: What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher? A: He became a POUNDHOG!
Q: What month is the best for coffee? A: Fe BREW ary!
Q: What is a banana’s favorite kind of shoes to wear? A: SLIPPERS!
Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little BOOGIE in it!
Q: What do you call two birds in love? A: TWEEThearts!
Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A: A TUBA toothpaste!
Q: What kind of key opens a banana? A: A MON-KEY!
Q: Where do cows go for fun? A: To the MOOOOOOOOvies!
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite month? A: Feb-BOO-ary!
Q: What do you call a very small Valentine? A: A Valen – TINY!
Q: What kind of flowers should you NEVER give on Valentine’s Day? A: CAULIFLOWERS!
Q: What do you call a frog born on February 29th? A: A LEAP frog!

March Jokes

Q: Where do books sleep? A: Under their COVERS!
Q: How does a tree get on the internet? A: It LOGS on!
Q: Why is St. Patrick’s Day a frog’s favorite holiday? A: Because they are already wearing green!
Q: Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to the
game? A: Because he TRAVELED a lot!
Q: What do librarians take with them when they go fishing? A: BOOKWORMS!
Q: What did the tooth fairy use to fix her broken wand? A: TOOTHPASTE!
Q: What is a crocodile’s favorite drink? A: GATOR-ade!
Q: What’s Irish and comes out in spring? A: Paddy O’ Furniture!
Q: What has two legs but can’t walk? A: A Pair of Pants
Q: Why do basketball players love donuts? A: Because they can DUNK them!
Q: Why is spring a great time to start a gardening business?
A: Because you can really RAKE in the money!
Q: What happens when a strawberry gets run over while
crossing the street? A: A Traffic JAM!
Q: What do you call a well-dressed lion? A: A DANDY Lion!
Q: What do you call a pig who plays basketball? A: A BALL HOG!
Q: What is a bow that can’t be tied? A: A RAINBOW!
Q: Why did the worm cross the ruler? A: He wanted to become an INCHworm!
Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb a tree and act like a NUT!
Q: Why are basketball players such messy eaters? A: Because they are always DRIBBLING!
Q: What do you call a lizard that sings in March? A: A RAP-tile!
Q: What do you get if you cross a leprechaun with a
snowman? A: FROSTY the LUCKY CHARM!

April Jokes

Q: Why is everyone so tired on April 1st? A: Because they just finished a long 31 day MARCH!
Q: Can February, MARCH? A: No, but April MAY!
Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline? A: SPRING-TIME!
Q: What’s a frog’s favorite exercise? A: JUMP-ing Jacks!
Q: What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday? A: HOPPY Birthday!
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? A: In case he got a HOLE IN ONE!
Q: What is an Easter egg’s best sport? A: RUNNING!
Q: What animal is the best at hitting a baseball? A: A BAT!
Q: What are the rules for zebra baseball? A: Three STRIPES and you’re out!
Q: Why did the stadium get so hot after the baseball game ended? A: Because all the FANS left!
Q: What ball don’t you throw, shoot, dribble or catch? A: An EYEBALL!!
Q: Why can’t Cinderella play soccer? A: Because she’s always running away from the ball!
Q: What noise does a chicken’s phone make? A: WING! WING!
Q: Where do baseball players sit at lunch? A: Behind the PLATE!
Q: What runs around a baseball field but never moves? A: A FENCE!
Q: What did the baseball glove say to the ball? A: “CATCH You Later!”
Q: What goes up when the rain comes down? A: UMBRELLAS!
Q: Why are baseball games at night? A: Because the bats sleep during the day!
Q: Where does the Easter bunny get his breakfast? A: I Hop!
Q: How does the Easter bunny stay in shape? A: EGGcersize!

May Jokes

Q: Where is the best place to grow flowers at school? A: In the Kinder-GARDEN!
Q: What kind of shorts do clouds wear? A: THUNDER Wear!
Q: Why did the boy throw the butter out the window? A: Because he wanted to see BUTTER-fly!
Q: What is the shortest month? A: MAY because it only has 3 letters!
Q: Why did the soccer player bring string to his game? A: Because he wanted to TIE up the score!!
Q: What kind of flower talks the most? A: TULIPS!!
Q: What did the little tree say to the big tree? A: “LEAF me alone!”
Q: Why did the gardener plant his money? A: Because he wanted the soil to be RICH!
Q: Why did the horse chew with its mouth open? A: Because it had bad STABLE manners!
Q: What lion never roars? A: A DandeLION!
Q: What is a boxer’s favorite drink? A: PUNCH!
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that doesn’t take a bath? A: A STINK-O-SAURUS!
Q: What kind of fish is worth a lot of money? A: A GOLDfish!
Q: Why do bicycles fall over? A: Because they are too tired (TOO TIRED)!
Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? A: Because her students were so BRIGHT!
Q: What did the Dalmatian dog say after eating his dinner? A: “WOW! That really hit the SPOT!”
Q: Why did the police officer give the sheep a ticket? A: Because he was a BAAAAAAAAAAD Driver!
Q: Why couldn’t the flower ride its bike? A: Because it lost its PETALS!
Q: Why did the gum cross the road? A: Because it was stuck to the chicken’s shoe!
Q: Why are cats so good at video games? A: Because they have 9 LIVES!

Summer Jokes

Q: Why do bananas wear sunscreen at the beach? A: So they don’t PEEL!
Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer? A: A PUDDLE!
Q: Why were the strawberries upset? A: Because they were in a JAM!
Q: Why did the broom have to go to summer school? A: Because it was always SWEEPING during class!
Q: Why didn’t the sun go to college? A: Because it already had a million degrees!
Q: Why did the robot go on summer vacation? A: He needed to recharge his batteries!
Q: What does the sun drink out of? A: Sun GLASSES!
Q: Why couldn’t the sailors play cards? A: Because the captain was standing on the DECK!
Q: What do scuba divers wear to bed? A: A SNORE-kel!
Q: What kind of phone does the ocean have? A: A SHELL Phone!
Q: Where does fruit like to go on vacation? A: To PEARis!
Q: What is a sea monster’s favorite snack? A: SHIPS and DIP!
Q: What is a shark’s favorite sandwich? A: Peanut Butter and JELLY FISH!
Q: What is the best day to go to the beach? A: SUN-day!
Q: Why did the pig stop laying in the sun? A: Because he was BACON!
Q: What’s the worst thing about being an octopus? A: Washing your hands before dinner!
Q: How do fish pay their bills? A: With SAND Dollars!
Q: Why did the dog sit in the shade? A: Because he didn’t want to be a HOT dog!
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A TOWEL!!
Q: When do you go at red and stop at green? A: When you’re eating a WATERMELON!

BONUS Year-Long Kids Jokes

Q: How do you take a pig to the hospital? A: In a HAMbulance!
Q: What happened to the plant in math class? A: It grew SQUARE ROOTS!
Q: How do you know when a clock is hungry? A: It will go back for SECONDS!
Q: What do you get when you cross a porcupine and a balloon? A: POP!
Q: How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat? A: When it is FULL!
Q: Why was the bee’s hair sticky? A: Because he used a HONEY-COMB!
Q: What runs faster, hot or cold? A: HOT because everyone can CATCH a COLD!
Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? A: Because then it would be a FOOT!
Q: How can you make seven an even number? A: Take away the “S”!
Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A: A Spelling BEE!
Q: When do astronauts eat? A: At LAUNCH time!
Q: What is harder to catch the faster you run? A: Your BREATH!
Q: What is a banana’s favorite gymnastics move? A: The SPLITS!
Q: What do cats eat for breakfast? A: MICE KRISPIES!
Q: What did the triangle say to the circle? A: You are POINTLESS!
Q: What do you call a cat that falls into the trash can? A: KITTY LITTER!
Q: Why did the farmer buy a brown cow? A: He wanted CHOCOLATE MILK!
Q: What animal should you never play cards with? A: A CHEETAH!
Q: Why did the traffic light turn red? A: Because it had to CHANGE in front of all those people!
Q: What is the stinkiest planet? A: POOP-iter!

I love using jokes in the classroom and now that I’m a PE (Physical Education) teacher I use sports and exercise jokes in the gym now too.

School should be FUN and weaving funny and clean jokes into your school day is one of the best ways to put a big smile on the faces of both teachers and students while building a true love for both teaching and learning.

GREAT NEWS! You can snag your very own PDF of this 220 Year-Long Kids Jokes Document RIGHT HERE!

Have yourself a very BLESSED and BEAUTIFUL day spent laughing until your cheeks hurt!

220 Funny and Clean School Year-Long KIDS JOKES of the Day!